Here’s My Card
A good number of my Clown jobs come as a result of people seeing me on the Streets, Busses or Trains while I’m in my Clown Outfit. When I tell a lot of my friends and relatives that I walk around like this, they look at me like I should have my head examined. Aside from self advertising reasons, changing in my own place has its advantages. Number one, I’d rather tie up my own bathroom for 45 minutes than tie up someone else’s tiny bathroom for that long while twenty people are knocking on the door waiting to use the bathroom while I’m in that tiny space struggling with all of my bulky stuff. Number Two, When I’m WEARING my bulky Costume, I’m not CARRYING it! I have enough stuff to put in my Suitcase as it is.
Whether or not I’m dressed as a Clown, I never leave home without a stack of business cards. Here are a couple of examples of how jobs came upon me as a result of handing out my business cards.
When people call me up to request me for a party or event, I always ask them how they heard about me. On one such occasion, a young guy calling to book me to entertain at his Band’s Debut, claims that he was given my card by a Bartender who saw it being left on his Bar by a very inebriated Englishman on “Reefer Madness Day”. Not only did I get a booking as a result of that Pot Head, but at the Debut I ended up giving another card to the Magician at the event who hired me for a number of events over the years.
While waiting for a bus, an Event Planner spotted me in my Clown Outfit and asked me for my Business Card and paid me twice as much as I normally pay myself for entertaining five kids for like three hours at a Birthday Party where “Oliver Stone’s” Mom was one of the guests.
About 11 years ago, I was just finished putting my Clown makeup on for an event when my doorbell rang. It was my Landlord asking me for my rent check. I replied….”Oh, Susan’s out of the Country", I’m her Room Mate” I then broke out of character, wrote him out a check and told him what I do for a living. A couple of months later, he called me up to book me for his Twin’s Birthday Party.
Throughout the years, I’ve not only booked jobs as a result of handing out Business Cards to people seeing me in my Clown Outfit on the way to or from jobs but a lot of these people turned out to be repeat customers as well as there guests at the party.
In conclusion, I don’t need to walk around wearing a big Sandwich Board to advertise my business, since I’m a WALKING Advertisement! See you around!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Diary of a Clown/Have these Clown Things ever happened to you
Diary of a Clown/Have these Clown Things ever happened to you
This list goes out to my Clown Colleges, but I think you Civilians will get a kick out of it as well. Enjoy!
1) Your bending down to clean up after your Clown Show, when a two year old innocently pulls off your Wig!
2) Your coming back from entertaining at a charity event and in full Clown Regalia. You’re feeling so good about yourself and how happy you made the less fortunate feel, but by the looks of some of the people on the train and the Streets, you might as well as committed a bank heist!
3) A dog attacks you while in your Clown outfit.
4) Your working your tail off at a big public event with a line of over 200 kids all waiting to have their faces painted and/or there balloons twisted. When you suddenly look around and notice that the other Clown hired for the event is boredly walking around blowing bubbles!
5) While in your Clown outfit, people refuse to wait on you in a divey diner or Fast Food place!
6) You spend twenty minutes setting up for your show and have your magic, face paints and balloons and pumps all neatly laid out on a table outside, when it suddenly starts to rain!
7) You cause a traffic jam while walking down the street in your Clown Suit.
8) Dressed as a Clown, you get stopped by a serious looking cop. While you’re shaking like a leaf, he asks if he could get a picture of you to show to his kids.
9) While walking down the Street, a Fire Man in your neighborhood takes a brake from administering aid to a man passed out on the street to ask you if you can entertain at the Fire Department’s next Christmas party.
This list goes out to my Clown Colleges, but I think you Civilians will get a kick out of it as well. Enjoy!
1) Your bending down to clean up after your Clown Show, when a two year old innocently pulls off your Wig!
2) Your coming back from entertaining at a charity event and in full Clown Regalia. You’re feeling so good about yourself and how happy you made the less fortunate feel, but by the looks of some of the people on the train and the Streets, you might as well as committed a bank heist!
3) A dog attacks you while in your Clown outfit.
4) Your working your tail off at a big public event with a line of over 200 kids all waiting to have their faces painted and/or there balloons twisted. When you suddenly look around and notice that the other Clown hired for the event is boredly walking around blowing bubbles!
5) While in your Clown outfit, people refuse to wait on you in a divey diner or Fast Food place!
6) You spend twenty minutes setting up for your show and have your magic, face paints and balloons and pumps all neatly laid out on a table outside, when it suddenly starts to rain!
7) You cause a traffic jam while walking down the street in your Clown Suit.
8) Dressed as a Clown, you get stopped by a serious looking cop. While you’re shaking like a leaf, he asks if he could get a picture of you to show to his kids.
9) While walking down the Street, a Fire Man in your neighborhood takes a brake from administering aid to a man passed out on the street to ask you if you can entertain at the Fire Department’s next Christmas party.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Diary of a Clown/ Gorillas in the Office
Gorillas in the Office
One afternoon, I was sent to do a Black Gorilla Singing Telegram at an office in Midtown Manhattan. After changing into my Gorilla Suit, I started walking to the woman’s (my recipient’s) office, when who walks by me...but another Gorilla. A six foot tall man in a Gorilla suit that his! As he smugly started walking past me, I stopped him by asking him who he was there to see. He showed me his Telegram and lo and behold, the recipient turned out to be the same as mine as well as the scheduled performance time. As I asked him who he was and who he worked for, he totally ignored me and continued his way into the office. I stopped him in his tracks saying “Hey wait a minute...What makes you think you can go in first?” “I won’t be but a few minutes” he snootily replied. I blocked him again. The receptionist at this time was starting to get pretty perturbed by the sight of having two Gorillas standing in the waiting room having an argument. With her heavy NY accent she shouted out…”Hey! Yas 2 is gonna have to take this outside somewhere!” “I can’t have yas standing out here fighting when our clients come in!” With that said, I replied to my Gorilla rival “Look, I’ll make a deal with you; I’ll let you go in first if you take your head off for a second. I wanted to see not only who I was arguing with, but if he was someone I knew. When he took his head off, I nearly fell over when I saw how gorgeous he was! While he came out, he completely ignored my flirting and rolled his eyes walking right passed me.
I went in later and did my Singing Gorilla Gram for my recipient. She was a very attractive woman in her early thirties. When I finished singing, a Flower Messenger walked in and handed her a bouquet of roses. No….this one wasn’t dressed as a Gorilla!
One afternoon, I was sent to do a Black Gorilla Singing Telegram at an office in Midtown Manhattan. After changing into my Gorilla Suit, I started walking to the woman’s (my recipient’s) office, when who walks by me...but another Gorilla. A six foot tall man in a Gorilla suit that his! As he smugly started walking past me, I stopped him by asking him who he was there to see. He showed me his Telegram and lo and behold, the recipient turned out to be the same as mine as well as the scheduled performance time. As I asked him who he was and who he worked for, he totally ignored me and continued his way into the office. I stopped him in his tracks saying “Hey wait a minute...What makes you think you can go in first?” “I won’t be but a few minutes” he snootily replied. I blocked him again. The receptionist at this time was starting to get pretty perturbed by the sight of having two Gorillas standing in the waiting room having an argument. With her heavy NY accent she shouted out…”Hey! Yas 2 is gonna have to take this outside somewhere!” “I can’t have yas standing out here fighting when our clients come in!” With that said, I replied to my Gorilla rival “Look, I’ll make a deal with you; I’ll let you go in first if you take your head off for a second. I wanted to see not only who I was arguing with, but if he was someone I knew. When he took his head off, I nearly fell over when I saw how gorgeous he was! While he came out, he completely ignored my flirting and rolled his eyes walking right passed me.
I went in later and did my Singing Gorilla Gram for my recipient. She was a very attractive woman in her early thirties. When I finished singing, a Flower Messenger walked in and handed her a bouquet of roses. No….this one wasn’t dressed as a Gorilla!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Diary of a Clown/ An Elephant! By Susan Zwirn aka Polkadots the Clown
A good portion of the Birthday parties I clown at, are on overkill. These people (not always rich) spend more money on these Birthday Parties than the average person spends on a wedding. But what do you do when you have a 13 year old millionaire Bar mitzvah boy who already had 12 overkill Birthday Parties (not to mention the overkill Birthday Parties he's already been to), and is due for a change?....Give up?....You invite an Elephant to his Bar mitzvah!
I was hired to clown at a Bar Mitzvah in a Great Neck Long Island Country Club, along with a bevy of other Circus Performers, Fire Eaters, Sword Swallower's, Strolling Magicians, and the category I fell into....Strolling Clown Balloonists. Oh, and a Marching Band.
The Country Club Catering Hall was all decorated in a Circus Motif. The Centerpiece on the cocktail tables had little Merry Go Rounds that actually turned around, lit up, and played music.
Now, if all that wasn't enough, in the middle of the Cocktail Party, we were all instructed to go into the other room. We, being the performers, marched around the outside of the room with the guests in the middle. It was the closest I[ve ever come to being in a Circus. We all just kind of marched around and did our thing. I did my Plate Spinning and comedy antics. All of the other performers did there's as well along with the 10 piece marching band who serenaded everyone with Circus Music. After about 10 minutes of this, we and all of the spectators were told to clear the room and stand against the walls and to stay away from the door, except for the marching band who was instructed to go outside.
Within a few minutes, the door to the Catering hall is opened and the MC is making an anouncement "Ladies and Gentlemen...Children of all ages....Presenting the Bar Mitzvah Boy himself and Guest of Honor, Jeffrey Abramowitz!" With that said, the Bar Mitzvah Boy enters the room on an Elephant, both wearing circus styled sparkly headdresses. Yes, you heard right, an Elephant! They are followed by the marching band playing Circus Music.
The only people who seemed to know this was all going to take place was The Bar Mitzvah boy and his imediate familly as well as my boss who was also one of the performers. Jason, who was doing juggling, was the most shocked out of everyone. "An ELEPHANT!!... They brought in an ELEPHANT!!" He continued with "I've been doing overkill parties for 20 years and....An ELEPHANT!!" My boss came over and told us to get all of our belongings together and rap it up, but Jason just stood there dumbfounded going "An ELEPHANT!! They brought in an ELEPHANT!!" We eventually had to lead him out.
Looking back on the whole day, I thought it was great that a 13 year old boy was willing to go along with this in front of his spoiled brat millionaire friends. Now that's a Circus Enthusiest!
I was hired to clown at a Bar Mitzvah in a Great Neck Long Island Country Club, along with a bevy of other Circus Performers, Fire Eaters, Sword Swallower's, Strolling Magicians, and the category I fell into....Strolling Clown Balloonists. Oh, and a Marching Band.
The Country Club Catering Hall was all decorated in a Circus Motif. The Centerpiece on the cocktail tables had little Merry Go Rounds that actually turned around, lit up, and played music.
Now, if all that wasn't enough, in the middle of the Cocktail Party, we were all instructed to go into the other room. We, being the performers, marched around the outside of the room with the guests in the middle. It was the closest I[ve ever come to being in a Circus. We all just kind of marched around and did our thing. I did my Plate Spinning and comedy antics. All of the other performers did there's as well along with the 10 piece marching band who serenaded everyone with Circus Music. After about 10 minutes of this, we and all of the spectators were told to clear the room and stand against the walls and to stay away from the door, except for the marching band who was instructed to go outside.
Within a few minutes, the door to the Catering hall is opened and the MC is making an anouncement "Ladies and Gentlemen...Children of all ages....Presenting the Bar Mitzvah Boy himself and Guest of Honor, Jeffrey Abramowitz!" With that said, the Bar Mitzvah Boy enters the room on an Elephant, both wearing circus styled sparkly headdresses. Yes, you heard right, an Elephant! They are followed by the marching band playing Circus Music.
The only people who seemed to know this was all going to take place was The Bar Mitzvah boy and his imediate familly as well as my boss who was also one of the performers. Jason, who was doing juggling, was the most shocked out of everyone. "An ELEPHANT!!... They brought in an ELEPHANT!!" He continued with "I've been doing overkill parties for 20 years and....An ELEPHANT!!" My boss came over and told us to get all of our belongings together and rap it up, but Jason just stood there dumbfounded going "An ELEPHANT!! They brought in an ELEPHANT!!" We eventually had to lead him out.
Looking back on the whole day, I thought it was great that a 13 year old boy was willing to go along with this in front of his spoiled brat millionaire friends. Now that's a Circus Enthusiest!
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