Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Diary of a Clown/ Beauty and the Beast

One of the great memories I have of the World Trade Center, is when I was asked to do a singing telegram on the 100th floor of the World Trade Center. I was to be part of an act the Agency booked as “Beauty and the Beast”. Normally, the Beast is usually a Guy dressed as a Gorilla and the Beauty is a good looking woman in a Bikini. In this case the sender thought it would be a hoot if the woman would be dressed as the Beast and later start taking off her Gorilla costume and get interrupted by a male Stripper in a G String.

When I got to the office in the World Trade center, I waited for about twenty minutes for my male counterpart to get there. When he finally did, in his flaming Queen voice, said “OH MY G-D!! I’m sooooo late!” “Quick Susan, take this Lipstick and write Kiss me I’m Greek on my chest!” With that he opened up his shirt exposing his bare shaven chest. As I started writing, the receptionist in this posh office stopped us by saying “I’m sorry, you can’t be doing that type of thing out here!” We have Clients coming in soon. She then led us into this big Conference room with curtainless big picture windows. The Queen completely freaked out when he looked at the 100th Floor view, and started hyper ventilating: “Oh no!" I’m completely horrified of Heights!” With that said, I walked him back over to the snooty receptionist who wanted nothing to do with us in the first place. “Uh excuse us”, I said “We need a new place to change. He has this horrific fear of heights”. At that point, we were stopped by one of the senders of the Telegram, saying they needed us to start immediately because the recipient is getting ready to leave. They couldn’t have the Queen change in the Men’s room, for fear of the recipient walking in, so they had me start my thing while they figure out where the Queen is getting changed. As I started to go on, I turned to the Queen and said “Don’t be long! Remember, you’re supposed to interrupt me from stripping!” He fluttered his hands saying “Susan, don’t you worry your pretty little head….Remember…I am a perfectionist!”

While in my Gorilla costume, I monkied my way over to my macho looking recipient and sang my songs. Afterwards, I took off my Gorilla costume revealing my tuxedo costume underneath it and said in a sexy voice, “Oh, I almost forgot….” And then started undoing my Bow Tie and unbuttoning my shirt. It was at that point that I was suppose to get interrupted by the Queen and started getting really panicky when nothing happened except for everyone whistling and my Macho looking recipient started to get a little too close for comfort! I must have repeated myself at least 4 times while shouting out at the top of my lungs…” As I was saying…”I almost forgot!” At last, in comes the Queen huffing and puffing starts doing his thing and starts embarrassing the heck out of the Macho Man (and I’m not talking The Village people here) to the
point where like five men had to hold him back from running out of the room.

On the Train ride back with the Queen, I had to hear about how long it took for him to find a place to change that had curtains along with his history of his fear of heights. This profession is not all fun and games and can be stressful in a different way than the stress of a Secretary or Executive.

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