Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Diary of a Clown/ The Sadisticle Birthday Dad

The Sadistical Customer

A good portion of overkill Birthday Parties I do, are for people from other Countries. In a lot of cultures, the first Birthday, is the most important day of a Child’s Life. As a result, the Birthday Party is celebrated like a Wedding with Catered Food, formal Gowns and the Whole bit.

In the days when I used to Clown at the entire 3 Boroughs’ of NY, I travelled to the Bay ridge section of Brooklyn which is a good Hour and a half from where I live. I got to my destination about 20 minutes before I was scheduled to start, just so I could have some extra time to set up. When I arrived in my Clown outfit, I was very rudely greeted by the 300 something pound Father of the Birthday Girl, from G-d only knows from what Country. “What this is?!” he says as he looks me up and down. By his expression, I’m guessing that he never saw a woman Clown before. Although I don’t overdo it with my makeup since I’m an Augusta Clown and I don’t like to scare the kids with a White face. I’m in full Clown attire from my Red Shirley Temple Wig; my Polka dotted socks, Dress, and over sized Polka dotted Shoes. He led me through his House turned Catering Hall with fancy schmancy tables and table cloths, Crystal Chandelairs, Evening Gown and Tuxedo attired Guests (even though the Party was in the middle of the day) As I walked outside into the back Yard, I was greeted by about 25 kids between the ages of 5 and 9 (with the exception of the 1 year old Birthday Girl). They were also very much into my jokes as I was setting up, and at the same time, very polite. After about no more than like 5 minutes of setting up, the same obnoxious fat man comes back out…”Why you not start show?!” He then started kicking me in the Butt saying “Start Show!” Trying to gain my composure, I tried in as Clowny a way as possible to assure him that I just needed a couple of more minutes to set up. At this point, the once cute and polite kids, started imitating Brutus (or so he should be called) by kicking me too! I of course couldn’t kick the kids, but when Brutus came back a minute or so later and started kicking me again, I was so fumed, that with all of my 100 pound strength and my 5 pound Clown Shoes, gave him a full forced kick in his fat sadistic Butt. As big as he was, I’m sure he must have felt it! They say rage adds strength! Not only that, but the laughter was now focused on him. His face was so red with rage, that I thought “UH OH!” “This is it, he’s going to kill me!” Instead, he went back into the house and had the DJ turn the music up full blast, making it impossible for me to have control over the kids, let alone do my show. I struggled my way through everything, when I started to walk out as Elmo, the mother came out and interrupted me saying that they won’t be needing me anymore. I quickly gathered up my stuff, got paid by the Mom and got the heck out of there!

When outside, I counted up my money and noticed that they short changed me by about 50.00. I called up my boss and told him the whole story and he was more concerned about me than the money. “Are you alright?” “Don’t even go back there!” “I’ll take care of the Money”. He carried out his promise and called them the next day. As expected, they tried disputing it. I can’t remember if they ended up paying me the difference, but the company still paid me the entire amount, which wasn’t that much to start with.

Thank goodness I had a Vacation 2 days after that incident! I was really dreading going to my next job when I came back, but that party turned out to be the exact opposite…..nice parents, nice kids, a lot of clean laughs and a nice tip!

Fortunately, I’ve found that over the years, the good Parties out weigh the bad ones. Now that I’ve been clowning for so many years, and got my stuff down to a science, I’ve found that I have more of a knack for over powering Brats and A Hole Parents. I wouldn’t be in business for as long as I have if I had to deal with too many bad Apples or if I couldn’t turn the few bad ones around.

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