Diary of a Clown/All Wired Up

All Wired up

In your life time, how many people have you seen with there jaw wired shut? The odds are probably as great as seeing rainbows, although the latter is probably easier on the eyes.
With that said, can you imagine seeing one person with there jaw wired shut, and exactly one week later, having a confrontation with another one?!

Wired jaw no. 1) One afternoon, I was to deliver a Singing Telegram dressed as a French Maid. I was told in advance, that my recipient just had his jaw wired shut due to surgery. Narrow minded me expected to see a largly obese man standing in the doorway, but to my surprise, the door was opened by a very attractive nicely built man. After singing my song at the door way, in my French Maid outfit, I read whatever it said on the telegram in my tacky French accent. He seemed to get a real kick out of me and afterwards started talking my head off for like 15 minutes, but it seemed like an hour since I had no idea what he was talking about through his muffled speech!

After declining his invite to come in, he handed me a nice tip and started talking another 10 minutes. I politely excused myself saying I had another telegram to get to. I guess when you’re stuck in a small apartment with your jaw wired shut for 5 weeks, you're starved for conversation, since how many of his friends and relatives call or visit someone they can’t have a conversation with?

As strange as it may seem, exactly (to the day hour and minute) one week later, I was to do a Singing Chicken Gram in this Ratty looking Basement type of office along the Hudson River. So, we’re not exactly talking “Trump Towers” here. After meeting my contact person (the person who is assigned to set me up with a place to change and lead me to my recipient) her supervisor who got wind of the whole thing immediately stormed over to me. Just as she approached me, guess what was the first thing I noticed?...Yup, you guessed it!...She had her jaw wired shut! In her bad ventriloquist speech, she started yelling at me saying what sounded like…”Thish ish a prashe of bushnish!!!” “I’m the Supervisher, and I can’t let you do thish!” I started to retaliate, but after I got wind of who was talking (or trying to talk) to me, my rebuttle
turned into hysterical laughter to the point where tears were forming in my eyes! I totally lost it! Luckily I still got paid, since I showed up.

So getting back to how many wired jaws you see in your life time…It’s been over twenty years since both incidents, and I have yet to meet another person with there jaw wired shut. As for Rainbows, I think I might have seen about three in my lifetime so far, but they were separated by a number of years, not exactly a week apart from eachother.
What was my secret message here?...That I should be greatful for the ability to speak? Only G-d knows the answer to that one!