Diary of a Clown/Cab Drivers and Clowns
By Susan Zwirn aka Polkadots the Clown

As I sit writing this in full clown attire, I’m sitting at a subway station waiting to get home from a clown job. Subway, bus or foot is usually my mode of transportation to and from jobs, until tardiness, laziness or bus and subway delays come into play then its time to bite the bullet and haul down the cabs. Aside from the prices of cabs in New York City, and the availability (especially during rush hours), it’s not always easy hauling down a cab while you’re dressed as a Clown! Why not change at my parties, you ask? Since I’m Jewish, I’ll answer that with a question….”Why tie up someone’s bathroom for an hour?”…that is if there is a bathroom. A lot of times my parties are in parks where smelly caughin sized outhouses come into play. Those two reasons, plus free advertising, since a good number of my Clown jobs have happened as a result of people seeing me in clown attire on the way to or from jobs.

Getting back to cabs…I was about to find out the hard way one of the reasons behind passing Cab Drivers. It was a Saturday afternoon (my busiest time), and I spent like fifteen minutes trying to haul down a cab, when one finally stopped. When I poked my head into the opened window of the cab to ask the driver if he could help me with my suitcase, he took one look at me and started screaming this blood curdling scream!... “OOHHH!!! WHAT THE H..LL IS THAT!!” Immediately being offended by what I perceived to be ignorant and rude, I said…”If you’re going to have that kind of reaction, I’ll find another cab!!” He then calmed down a bit and with his heavy Jamaican accent said…”Wait, get in…I explain”. He then told me his story……”About two weeks ago, two men bang me over the head and steal my money”. “The last thing I remember before I faint is seeing masks like you!” “I am so sorry, but you just brought it all back to me”. I apologized as well for traumatizing him, and of course, gave him an extra big tip!