Diary of a Clown/The Drag Queen

The Drag Queen

While working at “Western Onion” in the mid eighties, a good deal of my time was spent in the office either waiting for telegrams and balloon deliveries to come in, or blowing up helium balloons in the hallway. The ladies room we used was shared with the snooty secretaries from our neighboring offices. Thanks to the new Singing Messenger who also happened to be a Drag Queen, our ladies room privileges were revoked. Apparently, the owner of “Western Onion” was threatened into given up our ladies room key, for fear of having the Drag Queen use the Ladies Room. Like he would really be a threat!

What this all came down to was that every time one of the woman in my office had to use the ladies room, we would have to walk down 5 flights of stairs, cross over busy 6th Ave., and walk down the basement stairs at one of the stores across the street.

Life with the Drag Queen didn’t end at the office. Occasionally, I would have to go with him to deliveries and Singing Telegrams. Most of his jobs were Either Male impersonater jobs or “Tootsie-Grams” "Tootsie" was a popular movie in the Eighties where Dustin Hoffman played an Actor who disguised himself as a woman in order to get a part on a Soap Opera.

One day, I was to do a duo telegram with the Drag queen, but since he was doing a Gorilla Telegram he wasn’t in drag. On the way back from our telegram, we stopped at a Cosmetic Store. While at the Counter he told the woman at the counter what he was looking for. Instead of responding back to him she responded back to me assuming that the item was for me. “Don’t look at me” I said, “It’s for him”. I thought the woman was going to fall down on the spot! She quickly got him the cosmetics he needed barely making eye contact with him the whole time probably for fear of losing it.

Luckily, for my Kidney’s sake the Drag Queen moved on to other things and we eventually got our Bath Room back.