Diary of a Clown/The Wrestling Dinosaur Verses the BRAT
By Susan aka Polkadots the Clown

What started me in clowning, you ask? Answer: An ad in the paper. The ad read: “Looking for Clowns and costumed characters to entertain at children’s’ birthday parties and events, will train”. After answering the ad, I was asked to come down for a training session. My first day, was spent doing comedy exercises, the second day focused more on clowning and costume characters, along with a mock birthday party, where we were all playing the part of kids at a birthday party, conducted by our clown teacher and his furry hard headed costumed character.

I eventually got the job. They first started me off by doing costumed characters. The first costumed character I was hired to do was “Boo Bop”, the sidekick of “The Purple Dinosaur”. I was to trail another hard headed furry character who was playing “The Purple Dinosaur”. We met up at “Chad’s Fun House”, the company we worked for. Russ, “The Purple Dinosaur”, drove me from “Chad’s in Brooklyn, to the birthday party in this fancy Italian restaurant in Staten Island. While in the car with Russ, I discovered that he was a former prize fighting wrestler. Judging by his gravelly voice and the humongous size of him, there was no doubt in my mind that he was right!

The party took place in an upscale Italian Restaurant. After introducing ourselves to the birthday parents, we walked up a winding staircase and went into the bathrooms to change into our costumes. Going down that staircase (in that furry monstrosity) was definitely harder than the trip up! If you ever wore one of those hard headed furry costumes, you would know exactly what I’m talking about. For one thing, your body is completely engulfed in fur, along with your feet that are wearing these conspicuous plastic, fur covered shoes. Your face feels like it’s inside a covered goldfish bowl, with two small holes to see through. Since there is no peripheral vision, you are pretty much limited to seeing things directly in front of you, not down or to the side, unless you physically turn yourself or turn your head completely down, can you look completely down, can you see things like stairs, crawling babies and people walking along side you.
While Russ and I (now “The Purple Dinosaur” and “Boo Bop”), were dancing and doing song games with the kids, along with being kicked pretty regularly, I felt my tail getting pulled as well. This continued for about five minutes, and then it stopped.

On the way back from the party, Russ brought the taunting up. I said “Oh, Yea!, that was so annoying, what a brat!”. “Thank God it didn’t last that long!” With that said, Russ replied…”Here’s the story…”When no one was looking, I cornered the little bastard, when I saw him making his way up the stairs!” “I waited until the coast was clear, when I whipped off my Dinosaur Head right in front of him!” “The kid goes….Dinos!!, and I interrupted him and said….”Yea, That’s right!!!, you little piece of SHIT! “This dinosaur sweats and bleeds just like you’re going to if you don’t leave me and Boo Bob the HELL alone!!!” “So, you have two choices, you little bastard!” “You can go downstairs and keep your hands to yourself, or have to deal with me up here!” Well, that explains the sudden change in this tail pulling, kicking terror! I wish I could take Russ with me to all of my jobs!