Diary of a Clown/Are you the Rabbi?
By Susan Zwirn aka Polkadots the Clown

When one of my clowning customers has a death in the family around the week I’m due to do their show, they either postpone or cancel the party. On one such occasion, I was to clown at a baby naming ceremony for a new born baby girl in the west eighties section of Manhattan. Right before the date of the already planned catered event, the Grandmother of the baby girl died. Rather than cancel the party, the parents decided to combine the Baby naming Ceremony with the memorial service of the Grandmother. “A Clown?” “At a memorial service?” “How tacky!” I thought.

Since food was being served at a certain time, I was scheduled to do half of my routine for the kids and to stop while the Rabbi conducted the memorial service and baby naming. Well, things don’t always go according to schedule, especially if you have a tardy Rabbi! After waiting around for ten minutes or so, the family decided to throw their own Memorial service with close friends and family giving speeches about the departed. While this was going on, I (as a Clown) put my stuff aside and waited as quietly as possible, trying to avoid any eye contact with the kids for fear of laughter emerging. With wet eyes around me with all of the moving speeches about the Grandmother, hurriedly walks in this guy in his mid thirties, wearing a Yomeka and prayer shawl. While still huffing and puffing, he positions himself next to me. “Are you the Rabbi?” I whispered. “No, but I played one on TV once”, he whispered back. “Are you the Clown?” he asked. I responded with…”Yes, and I played one on TV” He then started whispering all of these dirty jokes to me, with the straightest of faces. The harder I tried to compose myself, the more I started laughing. To make matters worse, the so called Rabbi would return dirty looks with a “Do you believe it?” look pointing in my direction.
He actually turned out to be the Rabbi after all, finishing up both ceremonies….. or was he?